Let me preface this by saying I am standing at the counter in the kitchen typing this, because miraculously when I sit down, all hell breaks loose. Makes more sense to just have my shoes on ready to run when there’s trouble right? Does that make me a bad mom? I’d like to think it makes me prepared, but potato,potahto.
There are probably at least 4 times a day when I have that thought. The one about being a bad mom. Pretty sure every parent does, but in the moment we always assume we are alone in these feelings. Truth be told, most days it’s far more than 4 times but on a good day, 4 seems about average. Why do we think this? Our kids don’t know any different so it’s really just an internal struggle, right? Inner thoughts sure do have a way of bringing us down.
I don’t let my kids have cookies for breakfast. I’m a bad mom.
I have a sailors mouth and don’t censor myself nearly enough resulting in the 2 yr old repeating me. I’m a bad mom.
I won’t let him go to chuck-e-cheese, steak and shake, target, starbucks, and have shaved ice all in the same day. I’m a bad mom.
I went full bore yelling and screaming like a maniac down the hall because the 2 yr old got into something under the bathroom sink. I’m a bad mom.
I hate doing bedtime. I’m a bad mom.
The thoughts we have about being a bad parent of just reflective of us being protective and wanting the best for our kids,or sometimes our sanity, so why does it come off so negatively in our minds? Is it because we assume the kids are the ones thinking we are bad parents? Are we worried that’s what they really think?
As they get older and have teenage angst, I would imagine (and I remember clearly thinking when I was 13-18) that they do verbalize these thoughts often “You’re a terrible mom/dad and I hate you…..” You’ve said it…..we have all said it or at the very least, thought it.
I don’t really know where I am going with this except to say we are ALL “bad” parents. Bad in the sense that we are protective, cautious, concerned, and full of love. If that comes off to our kids as being BAD then so be it, but you know what? They’re going to be SOOOOO good because of it. And that’s all I have to say about that.